Feeding Anders

This is a post about breasts. Just putting it out there well in advance for any breastfeeding squeamish parties.

Our tale begins as such: Anders seemed like a champion feeder at the hospital, we were rocking out the latch, loving the skin-to-skin contact, and generally a very happy mom and baby duo. At 5 days old we had our first "uhoh" moment at the pediatrician's office that gave us the feeling something might be funky. Anders was down from a birth weight of 7lb 8 oz to 6lb 10oz. Our wonderful pedi mentioned a quick weight check for the next day and to try and pump a little since I was majorly engorged. At 6 days old we went back, and Anders was down to 6 lbs 8 oz and very unhappy with life. He would sleep for 20 minutes then wake up starving, eat for 20 minutes, sleep for another 20 and then wake up starving, rinse, repeat. So our pediatrician suggested pumping and feeding from a syringe or having an alternative person feed Anders to prevent nipple confusion, and a repeat weight check the next day. After nursing, then pumping, and having my mom feed him from a bottle we got a great weight gain up to 6 lb 11 oz the next day. Which was the same day everything imploded for me.

I had an infection. In the teeny tiny little scratch I had from delivery, I had a nasty infection. And after diagnosing this at the midwives and being put on breastfeeding friendly antibiotics and painkillers, I stopped producing milk. I went from getting 3 oz of milk in 7 minutes of pumping to getting 0.25 oz of milk (total from both breasts) in 20 minutes of pumping. This was later discovered to be caused by my body trying to handle the infection and "focus" on what was necessary-healing.

I fought and I fought to get milk, and finally broke down 1 week after delivery and fed Anders formula. And he slept. And I cried. Something as "simple" as breastfeeding seemed to come naturally to everyone else, heck, even Kourtney Kardashian can do it! and I couldn't. Thus began the uphill battle to "bring back the milk" as it was so lovingly called by S.

First, let me say that when someone is having issues breastfeeding boobs suddenly become public domain. My mom, my dad, my friends, all doctors and nurses, friends of the family, my inlaws, etc... all know about the boobs, and you know what, I'm okay with that. When my mom first sent out the "update on M's boobs" e-mail to family and friends I had a minor mental freak out, then in poured the sympathy and the "I had the same thing happen" stories. I never knew how many people I know had trouble breastfeeding. And knowing I am not alone was wonderful.

To try and get the milk to come back in the following regimen was started: Fenugreek supplements 3Xday (until I smelled like maple syrup 24/7, a glorious side effect), goat's rue tea 3Xday, mother's milk tea 3-4Xday, pumping for 20 minutes every two hours, eating oatmeal and oatmeal cookies laced with brewers milk 6 times/day, 2 cups of malt a day, doubling the protein and water intake, and, finally, renting a hospital grade pump to replace my pump in style. This went on for 2 weeks and my production went from 0.25 oz (mind you, these counts are a total per pumping session, ie: from both boobs) to 0.50 oz. Still, not enough. I kept pumping and trying to nurse, and pumping and trying to nurse, and again and again. And nothing. Insert reglan.

My midwife perscribed reglan as a last resort, and after 1 week I had noticed my production went from 0.50 oz/pump to 0.75...and with the introduction of cracked nipples, I said "I'm done" on Friday and settled in witha  bottle of wine to drink away my feeling of defeat. And I woke up Saturday morning to porn star boobs. And I started pumping when I felt full and still supplementing with formula because I was only getting 5 oz/day with occasional pumping, not enough to feed our growing boy, but still more than ever before!

What's the end verdict? 3 weeks after I said, "I'm done" I now pump 5-8 times/day and Anders gets about 60% of his meals as breastmilk, which is all I can get out of my body. We stopped nursing for many reasons, at least until this week. I started nursing again to get that great skin-to-skin feeling, and even though he really doesn't nurse well, it's time that I just love with Anders. And we finally stopped using a nipple shield....

And hello double mastitis. Today, I discovered that my breasts had been replaced by 2 hot packs, pumping makes me scream and a 102 degree fever is my new bff. Insert one almost crying phone call to my midwife, another round of antibiotics and ibuprofen. Will this stop the breastfeeding??? Absolutely not, at least not after all we have been through just to get some breastmilk into Anders' diet. We are doing the best thing for us, which includes formula, and breastmilk, and a close relationship to my pump, as well as reglan and fenugreek, and I am finally happy with it. It took almost 6 weeks, and I am happy, and we will overcome this new hurdle, and be stronger for it in the end!