Reality

Here's the reality of living in Nebraska with a newborn and our closest family 1500 miles away...it's hard. Not just hard, it's painful.

When we first start planning to have a child we were both working wonderful, flexible jobs in Vermont and lived so close to family that we could easily have babysitters at the drop of a hat. We owned a home that was our prefect house for the next five years, we knew our town, we were comfortable every day. Now, we have no family, a house that we like but are not in love with and plan on selling in about 2 years, we still have to use our GPS to get around to anywhere outside of our area and we are bone achingly lonely.

The reality is, no matter how many friends you have, no one can replace your family, and we live in a city where everyone has at least one side of their family within driving distance. I'm not sure if we had moved to more of a "transplant" city, where it was common for couples to live far away from their family, if it would be easier, but I do know that living here is hard. Everyone we know gets to spend great family time, and give their parents "face time" with their new little ones, and we can't do the same.

S and I know that our choice to move out here was just that, our choice. We moved so S could finish a major certification in his engineering field that he was not able to finish in Vermont, and we know it will provide for a much more fruitful future for us. And it was hard to be 20+ weeks pregnant and say "goodbye" to our family, our house, and all things comfortable. And it was hard to move into a house when it was -20 out, and you're an exhausted pregnant woman who has been sleeping on the floor for 3 days. But nothing was as hard as saying goodbye to our families in June and knowing we were on our own, and that we wouldn't be seeing them again until August or September, and they would miss their grandson's first smiles, giggles, and our strugges would be ours alone.

And I know it will get better, but this first year is the hardest. Every event is the first time without family, in a new city, and it feels "wrong". We will be spending Thanksgiving just the three of us, and Christmas will only be with one set of parents. We hope that in the coming years, as S finishes his certification, we can make a decision that will not only be the best for us financially, but also emotionally.

But right now, it just hurts.