This Week

This week has been busy, busy, busy! S's mom flew in for a visit to see Anders and give us some much needed family time. Our last family visit included me getting over a nasty post-delivery infection and trying to get breastfeeding down with a non-latch friendly baby, and we barely spent any time with our visitors. This time we got to enjoy the visit, get out of the house a few times and spent most mornings in our pj's!

And I turned 24..... only 6 to 30, AHHHH! And I got a "mommy do" thanks to my MIL who once-upon-a-time was a hairdresser.
Before:

Mind you, that's also 1 week after giving birth....

After:

And I finally have a "normal" non-pudgy face back. And that is one VERY tired S.

And, finally, this week involved the end of our breastfeeding. We tried to go back to nursing (as opposed to our pump and feed which we have been doing since week 1) and my lazy latch baby is still just as lazy. We sit for HOURS and A is still hungry all the time. And the obscene amount of pumping was starting to destroy me, both physically and mentally. Essentially, our day involved me pumping anywhere between 8-10 times/day (which is the only way I can maintain a milk supply) for 20 minutes each time, and then feeding A as much as I could get (which was often only 2 oz total, and no where near enough for a baby craving 5 oz). A & I would spend at least a full hour to pump and eat-Anders is a VERY slow eater, 4 oz takes an average of 45-60 minutes to be consumed from a bottle. So my day was pump, feed, get 1-1.5 hours between, repeat. Not only were we spending 8-10 hours just to feed, but even with every ointment known to man, including prescription ointment, I have demolished my nipples to the point that I was crying in pain at every pump. And finally, after 7 weeks of fighting to feed A breastmilk, we are done. And I am fine with it.

Anders Over the Weekend

First things first....we got our camera back!

Secondly, here's how Anders spent his weekend:

Friday he joined us for our Anniversary dinner in quite the dapper attire:

Polo Onesie: Gymboree

Star Hat: Target

Linen Pants: Janie and Jack

Saturday we joined our neighbors at their party and got to enjoy BEAUTIFUL 80ish weather, finally some weather similar to Vermont!!! Anders came along and rocked out in his Baby Bjorn.

Sunday we cleaned and then spent some fun time shopping. When we came home Anders got to enjoy some Tummy Time:

Anders likes to fly when he's on his belly. Yes, those leg can stay up for 10-15 minutes....I wish I had that muscle strength.

We spent some time with Mommy....

And Finally....

We slept. A lot

And that, my friends, was our weekend.

Reality

Here's the reality of living in Nebraska with a newborn and our closest family 1500 miles away...it's hard. Not just hard, it's painful.

When we first start planning to have a child we were both working wonderful, flexible jobs in Vermont and lived so close to family that we could easily have babysitters at the drop of a hat. We owned a home that was our prefect house for the next five years, we knew our town, we were comfortable every day. Now, we have no family, a house that we like but are not in love with and plan on selling in about 2 years, we still have to use our GPS to get around to anywhere outside of our area and we are bone achingly lonely.

The reality is, no matter how many friends you have, no one can replace your family, and we live in a city where everyone has at least one side of their family within driving distance. I'm not sure if we had moved to more of a "transplant" city, where it was common for couples to live far away from their family, if it would be easier, but I do know that living here is hard. Everyone we know gets to spend great family time, and give their parents "face time" with their new little ones, and we can't do the same.

S and I know that our choice to move out here was just that, our choice. We moved so S could finish a major certification in his engineering field that he was not able to finish in Vermont, and we know it will provide for a much more fruitful future for us. And it was hard to be 20+ weeks pregnant and say "goodbye" to our family, our house, and all things comfortable. And it was hard to move into a house when it was -20 out, and you're an exhausted pregnant woman who has been sleeping on the floor for 3 days. But nothing was as hard as saying goodbye to our families in June and knowing we were on our own, and that we wouldn't be seeing them again until August or September, and they would miss their grandson's first smiles, giggles, and our strugges would be ours alone.

And I know it will get better, but this first year is the hardest. Every event is the first time without family, in a new city, and it feels "wrong". We will be spending Thanksgiving just the three of us, and Christmas will only be with one set of parents. We hope that in the coming years, as S finishes his certification, we can make a decision that will not only be the best for us financially, but also emotionally.

But right now, it just hurts.

Touchdown!!!

After a long bout of a pregnancy induced arthritis flare up I have FINALLY gotten all my rings back on!!! Thanks to my "old joints" my knuckles swelled up SO huge (and incredibly painful) in the last few weeks of pregnancy that I was lucky to get the rings off without having them cut off.

My engagement ring has been off since week 32, and the wedding bands off since 37 weeks. I was able to get the bands back on 2 weeks after Anders, and I just got my engagement ring back on.

And now, I get to rock this again:

Sans the manicure.

Does this mean I will be back into my pre-pregnancy jeans soon???

A great start to the morning...

Includes getting peed on. Not once, but twice. The last time I experienced projectile peeing like this was when we were in the hospital and Anders was 5 hours old.

And I am also on shirt #3 thanks to monster spit up baby.

Today is simply doomed to be a bodily fluids day. Fingers crossed this does not involve projectile poop too.

1st Anniversary Post

Since this is going to be a very very busy weekend filled with socializing and celebrations, I figured I would do our 1st Anniversary Post well in advance.

Sunday, 7/25, will be our 1st anniversary...one year since we did this:

And then we partied with our nearest and dearest:

Yep, that's me in the raspberry colored dress. I had zero plans to change, except at 9 pm it was still 90 out and very very muggy and my dress was killing me. Plus, changing allowed me to dance like Elaine from Seinfeld all night long...

And this year, we will be celebrating with an early dinner out with our third wheel, Anders.

And we wouldn't have it any other way!

We're traveling!

It's official, we're going to Vermont in October, yay!!! And double yay, we're going to Florida in December!!!

First, we get to go "home" to where I grew up:

Yep, that's main street my home town!

And maybe we can see sole good ol' Vermont foliage:

And then it's off to Florida:

One of our favorite places for seafood nachos and beer.

And the best part of it all will be: flying with a 5 month old and then again with a 7 month old...fingers crossed it all goes well!

Feeding Anders

This is a post about breasts. Just putting it out there well in advance for any breastfeeding squeamish parties.

Our tale begins as such: Anders seemed like a champion feeder at the hospital, we were rocking out the latch, loving the skin-to-skin contact, and generally a very happy mom and baby duo. At 5 days old we had our first "uhoh" moment at the pediatrician's office that gave us the feeling something might be funky. Anders was down from a birth weight of 7lb 8 oz to 6lb 10oz. Our wonderful pedi mentioned a quick weight check for the next day and to try and pump a little since I was majorly engorged. At 6 days old we went back, and Anders was down to 6 lbs 8 oz and very unhappy with life. He would sleep for 20 minutes then wake up starving, eat for 20 minutes, sleep for another 20 and then wake up starving, rinse, repeat. So our pediatrician suggested pumping and feeding from a syringe or having an alternative person feed Anders to prevent nipple confusion, and a repeat weight check the next day. After nursing, then pumping, and having my mom feed him from a bottle we got a great weight gain up to 6 lb 11 oz the next day. Which was the same day everything imploded for me.

I had an infection. In the teeny tiny little scratch I had from delivery, I had a nasty infection. And after diagnosing this at the midwives and being put on breastfeeding friendly antibiotics and painkillers, I stopped producing milk. I went from getting 3 oz of milk in 7 minutes of pumping to getting 0.25 oz of milk (total from both breasts) in 20 minutes of pumping. This was later discovered to be caused by my body trying to handle the infection and "focus" on what was necessary-healing.

I fought and I fought to get milk, and finally broke down 1 week after delivery and fed Anders formula. And he slept. And I cried. Something as "simple" as breastfeeding seemed to come naturally to everyone else, heck, even Kourtney Kardashian can do it! and I couldn't. Thus began the uphill battle to "bring back the milk" as it was so lovingly called by S.

First, let me say that when someone is having issues breastfeeding boobs suddenly become public domain. My mom, my dad, my friends, all doctors and nurses, friends of the family, my inlaws, etc... all know about the boobs, and you know what, I'm okay with that. When my mom first sent out the "update on M's boobs" e-mail to family and friends I had a minor mental freak out, then in poured the sympathy and the "I had the same thing happen" stories. I never knew how many people I know had trouble breastfeeding. And knowing I am not alone was wonderful.

To try and get the milk to come back in the following regimen was started: Fenugreek supplements 3Xday (until I smelled like maple syrup 24/7, a glorious side effect), goat's rue tea 3Xday, mother's milk tea 3-4Xday, pumping for 20 minutes every two hours, eating oatmeal and oatmeal cookies laced with brewers milk 6 times/day, 2 cups of malt a day, doubling the protein and water intake, and, finally, renting a hospital grade pump to replace my pump in style. This went on for 2 weeks and my production went from 0.25 oz (mind you, these counts are a total per pumping session, ie: from both boobs) to 0.50 oz. Still, not enough. I kept pumping and trying to nurse, and pumping and trying to nurse, and again and again. And nothing. Insert reglan.

My midwife perscribed reglan as a last resort, and after 1 week I had noticed my production went from 0.50 oz/pump to 0.75...and with the introduction of cracked nipples, I said "I'm done" on Friday and settled in witha  bottle of wine to drink away my feeling of defeat. And I woke up Saturday morning to porn star boobs. And I started pumping when I felt full and still supplementing with formula because I was only getting 5 oz/day with occasional pumping, not enough to feed our growing boy, but still more than ever before!

What's the end verdict? 3 weeks after I said, "I'm done" I now pump 5-8 times/day and Anders gets about 60% of his meals as breastmilk, which is all I can get out of my body. We stopped nursing for many reasons, at least until this week. I started nursing again to get that great skin-to-skin feeling, and even though he really doesn't nurse well, it's time that I just love with Anders. And we finally stopped using a nipple shield....

And hello double mastitis. Today, I discovered that my breasts had been replaced by 2 hot packs, pumping makes me scream and a 102 degree fever is my new bff. Insert one almost crying phone call to my midwife, another round of antibiotics and ibuprofen. Will this stop the breastfeeding??? Absolutely not, at least not after all we have been through just to get some breastmilk into Anders' diet. We are doing the best thing for us, which includes formula, and breastmilk, and a close relationship to my pump, as well as reglan and fenugreek, and I am finally happy with it. It took almost 6 weeks, and I am happy, and we will overcome this new hurdle, and be stronger for it in the end!

Nebraska vs Vermont

Lately I have been yearning to move back "home" to Vermont 24/7. So I figured I would blog about what I miss, and what I enjoy in Nebraska right now.

Vermont Misses:
-Being close to family (we went from living 3 houses away from S's family and 45 minutes from mine, to living 1500 miles away from anyone we are genetically attached to)
-Our big wooden porch (now we have a cement slab, boo)
-Privacy at our home
-Gorgeous Vermont Summers

Nebraska likes:
-Being 10 minutes from Target
-Classic brick tudors in our neighborhood
-Being 15 minutes from downtown and the airport
-Our fireplace-it's stinking cute!

Who knows where we will be in 3 years... we know we will need to have purchased a bigger home in NE than we have now, so we may have an bigger NE home or we may move elsewhere.....only time will tell!

Our Daily Schedule

Here's the daily baby "schedule" which is always open to lots and lots of change....

7:00ish: Anders wakes up
7:00-8:00: We watch the Today Show while A is changed and we both eat breakfast
8:00-9:30: A chills in his pack & play while I shower, then we rock the Moby and do laundry, the dishes, and play outside with the pups
9:30-10:00ish: Tummy time for A
10:00ish: Mid-morning snack for A
10:30: A naps, sometimes for 30 minutes, others for 3 hours
10:30-1:45: either chores and cleaning with a small nap, or errands with A while he snoozes
2:00: Lunch for A
2:30-4:00: Moby time and dinner prep/cleaning around the house and finishing up laundry
4:30: S gets home and takes over A, evening dinner for A
5:30-7: We eat dinner, play with pups and try and get some mature conversation in....hahaha
7:30: Bed, feed A his bedtime meal
8:30-Sleep and  get woken up 2-4 times w/A's cries for food/change/new socks/etc...

Rinse, repeat.

Anders First Photo Shoot

Since our camera is at the repair shop, we took Anders out for his first photo shoot this morning. We are calling it his one month shoot (even though he is technically 5 weeks old). We opted for the nice and inexpensive Sears Photo option, and boy we were glad we did that!

Anders started off with a major melt down, like crying screaming "Feed me, but I don't want to eat!" melt down. Thankfully, S calmed him down after 10 minutes of cooing and soothing, but every third photo was very sad looking. Oh well! $20 of semi-cute photos later here's what we came out with:

And that is his, "I'm so not sure about you two" look

Anders Visits the Wine Shop

Today we took Anders to some of our favorite stores: Carter's, Janie and Jack, and Brix (a local Wine/Beer/Liquor and all things fabulous shop).
At Janie and Jack we hit up some great things like this madras print shirt, this beautiful layette set, my favorite madras print jacket (to grow into), a straw hat, and this fabulous crab polo onesie.
Then S and I went to Brix for their all things chocolate fest, which was a fabulous way to spend our afternoon. We enjoyed chocolate wine, chocolate infused liquor and chocolate beer. S and I then went over to their new wine bar and got to enjoy tasting some more unique wines. That's also when Anders decided to wake up and let the world know he was unhappy until he got to nosh on his bottle. I think there is something wrong with feeding your child (from a bottle mind you) while you enjoy sipping on chardonnay, but I have yet to discover the downside. Little man got quite a few complements and ate them up like the ham he is.
And that was our day!

Things Anders Hates

Anders has already shown that he's not a big fan of certain thing. Such as:

-Pacifiers (he spits them out in about 3 sucks and wants nothing to do with them)
-Swaddlng (he breaks free in 2 minutes and screams like a demon child after)
-Socks (he can take them off in under one minute of having them put on)
-Mittens (he screamed hysterically at the L&D nurses who tried to put them on his hands, we have yet to repeat that incident)
-Mom's singing (yep, I get NASTY looks when I sing, but I do it anyway.

I'm 90% sure we gave birth to a grumpy and very critical 5 year old who is just trapped in a newborn's body.

M cooks

I love to cook, and the introduction of Anders into our lives threw my cooking off kilter for about 3 weeks, but I'm back!

Here was dinner Tuesday night:

Grilled Pizza with Mozz, Panchetta, Fresh Basil and Tomatoes.

And here was yesterday's accomplishment:

Chocolate Almond Heavy Cream Scones.

Yep some got a little more well done than I like, thank you Anders. S and I love scones, and I figured since I had taken a small baking hiatus post-delivery I would make his favorite ones. I am partial to bing cherry and apricot scones myself...

Bad News

Our camera is injured.

The little button on top has broken off, which means taking pictures includes using the tip of a fingernail and waiting an extra long time.

It will be fixed tomorrow.

On other notes:
-Anders is 1 month old!
-We had our first day of no naps today, here's to hoping he sleeps well tonight!
-I truly miss our fabulous AC unit and duct work in Vermont. We have central air in Nebraska as well, but the duct work in our 1935 Tudor leaves something to be desired. I'm ready to move back home if only for the AC unit.
-Anders giggled at S the other day. Pretty cute!

And that's all from our house!

Anders First Concert

Anders First Concert was last night. We swung by the park a mile from our house with 80,000 other Nebraskans for a free concert from Kansas, Styx, and Foreigner. We made it through Kansas and half of Styx until S and I started to crash.

Anders was a trooper, and outside of one dinner break, here were his concert going poses:

Kitchen Design

Don't get me wrong, S and I like our house in Nebraska. It's charming, has tons of personality, and is a great size for our family. However, after moving from a home S built into a home someone else built and remodeled, we have officially decided that home #3 we would like to build or buy a gut and remodel ourselves. So, in my downtime I have been collecting tons of ideas for a new place, and here's the kitchen ideas...

Countertop: We love concrete countertops. I am especially in love with the beautiful polish work done by Brooks Custom like this:

Sink: I love farmhouse sinks. Especially copper farmhouse sinks. Like this one from Signature Hardware. We would have to pick out a concrete color to decide if it would be a copper or white porcelain sink. 

A Wolf Range: I love a beautiful gas range. The 48" with a charbroil and griddle makes me swoon....

For now, that's all I have down in my dramatic "must have" list for our kitchen, bu I'm sure as we get closer to our next move (around 2 years from now) more will come together!